Be serious, will you!

 

I read about it one time.

You did not..

I did so. And it happened to me.

Did it.

It did.

In the whatchyoucall supermarket?

Yes.

Go on then.

Alright. I had the tins: the tomatoes. I buy six. And I  was going for the chocolate.

Good man.

Almost had it in the basket.

Alright. I can picture it. Just so.

It wasn’t a basket though. It was that other yoke.

The trolley?

That’s it.

On wheels?

That’s how they build them.

A mighty miracle of science, the shopping trolley. A pure delight to push one of them down the aisles.

Miracle is right. Your caveman would have had an easier life bringing back the mammoth in a shopping trolley now, wouldn’t he?

You think a mammoth would fit in one of them trolleys.

The big ones. IKEA, you know. It might.

It’s a thought.

It is. And anyhows, coming at me out of the trolley itself, there was this voice. “Put it back,’ it said, bold and clear as the priest himself.

It wasn’t the priest, Father O’Dolan?

It was not. A priest in my shopping trolley! Are you daft, or what?

Who then?

One of them purple bears, they had in that film.

Toy Story.

That’s the one.

It was purple was it?

Purple, yes it was, or blue maybe, only a few quid and I put it in my trolley. A gift like. And there it is telling me to put back the chocolate.

The purple bear did not like chocolate!

It did not.

Are you sure it was the bear talking?

Who else could it have been.

One of them elfs.

You get them in the supermarket?

A supermarket elf? Of course you do.

I’ll watch out from now on.

Do that. And did you put the chocolate back?

I did not. I’m not listening to purple bears.

Nor elfs.

Elves.

Nor them either.